At the dinner table ... Bart didn't get one vote? Back when he was your age, he was smart as a chimp. If you've written a script and would like to see it on this page, feel free to e-mail it to us.Also, for nearly instant feedback, you can post your fan fiction in the "Itchy & Scratchy Studios" section of our forums. All Simpsons start to lose their smarts around your age. We're nothing but a big bunch of losers. - We'll give ya a buck. Oh, Kenny. The Simpsons drive home. Lisa: Not exactly. Lisa, come on. And please don't deprive yourself of wonderful books like To Kill a Mockingbird, Harriet the Spy and Yertle the Turtle possibly the best book ever written on the subject of turtle stacking. Marge, get me your address book four beers and my conversation hat. Maybe I can't concentrate because of all your cooties! Simpson gene? P.S. That is the end of our freak show. Whoa! [Announcer] And now, When Surgery Goes Wrong. The Simpsons is an American adult animated sitcom created by Matt Groening for the Fox Broadcasting Company. It's the kind John Glenn eats when he's not in space. Now, let's get down to business. [ Clears Throat ] Rise to vote, sir. I've awakened in the future. Time has ravaged your once-youthful looks. Quit it. - Moving him now could kill him and tire us out. What is she doir out there? - Please, young customers ignore the frozen gentleman, and return to your impulse buying. Lisa, it's me, Daddy. Ah, well, Sanjay. - Whoo! I am Flamenco Flamingo. - Oh. Oh, ain't no big deal. Very nice, Janie. Champion of the world! Makeup. [Scoffs] Simpson gene. Of course. "Stark Raving Dad" is the first episode of the third season of the American animated television series The Simpsons. It can't just be a bad day. - [Cracking] [Jasper Moans] By gum, it worked. You get it after you leave. It originally aired on the Fox network in the United States on February 18, 1996. See the amazing frozen man. Written by Mike Reiss & Al Jean as a part of the show's first season, the episode dates back to when the series had an imperative to, in addition to lampoon current events, establish meaningful relationships within the Simpson family. Item Information. You have to if you want to be an architect. Get- Right- Back- - [Grunts] - I'll get your coat. Dear Log: It won't be long now before my mind melts... into a soft, Simpsony sludge. F.D. Join your family. That's my chop!" Hello. Marvel at the floor that just won't come clean! - I don't need a hint, Ralph. Now, you know the agenda. - No what? I had one last week. Hey, angel pie. Ronaldo! Lisa rolls her eyes. What a time to be alive. Let the opening statements commence. Some things man is not meant to know. "I have frozen myself so I may live to see the wonders of the future. I beg celebrities for money. Let her speak. It's the kind John Glenn eats when he's not in space. Hé hé hé ! We don't just put people on TV. That's just foolishness! These transcripts are perfect for finding that exact quotation you're trying to remember, reciting with your friends, or any other purpose you can think of! Then his mind started gettir lazy and now he's dumb as a chimp. It's- [Whispering] Yeah! Not according to any movie I've ever seen. We must relinquish the giddy glamour of show business... and return to the humble pleasures of the neighborhood shopkeeper. This means I'm gonna be a failure? You are invited to contribute your FAQs, news items, capsule submissions, lists, guides and other paraphernalia for inclusion in the archive. This is your great-uncle Chet. At least let us watch 'til the midgets drown! And I ran out of butter, so I had to spray the English muffins with PAM. Let her speak. Homer: Um, I'm looking for something in an after-dinner burrito. With Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Yeardley Smith. Lisa, I think you'll really enjoy it here. I'm afraid you're stuck with your genes, Lisa. There is a note. That is the end of our freak show. Oh, thanks, honey. Maybe I can't concentrate because of all your cooties! Show's over, folks. My name is Lisa Simpson. Another Simpsons Clip Show [Bart and Lisa are watching Itchy and Scratchy. Not until he admits he's a jerk! Back at home, Marge comforts Lisa. For your information, none of your business. Lisa the Skeptic “It looks like a human skeleton, but these other bones almost look like wings.” Lisa Simpson “You mean like an angel!” Ned Flanders "Lisa the Skeptic" is the eighth episode of Season 9. [Marge leaves] Lisa: [Grabs Bart by his shirt and whispers to him] I know exactly who I am. - Well, I'll show ya. Lisa, the whole reason we have elected officials is … You probably should have researched this first, eh, Dad? Storyline Homer loses much of Lisa's respect for him after he botches the task of getting her a saxophone reed she needs for a talent show. No snacks. - I'm adopted? But what happens when the buildings say, "No more"? [Rod And Todd Reading] "Show me your"- - Hey! Whereas golden-age episodes would come up with an inventive reason for a celebrity to come to town, Lady Gaga just arrives in Springfield to teach Lisa the meaning of happiness. Except this stupid braintea- [Gasps] I got it! The Web's largest and most comprehensive scripts resource. Cowgirl: Howdy, pardners! - [Clatter] - Ah! So before that happens, I want to share some things with you that have meant a lot to me. In fact, I got a real funny story about that. No, no, no. <-- Back to List of Shows Shows with not enough episodes listed, or no episodes listed at all, will be highlighted in red. Back at home, Marge comforts Lisa. Little more. The Simpsons includes a large array of supporting/minor characters: co-workers, teachers, classmates, family friends, extended relatives, townspeople, local celebrities, fictional characters within the show, and even animals. Aw, they just came for the buffalo wings. But you really got through to me. Lisa smacks the chop out of Bart's hand and into Homer's mouth. What's your opinion? It first aired on the Fox network in the United States on September 19, 1991. That's right. s31e12 - The Miseducation of Lisa Simpson. Easy does it now. So please, I beg you, don't take your brain for granted. No Interest if paid in full in 6 mo on $99+Opens in a new window or tab* No Interest if paid in full in 6 months on $99+. Homer, your daughter is pouring her heart out. He's like a frozen father to me. [Gasps] The project. Authorities believe the wave of towel snappings will get worse... before it gets better. Blue Haired Lawyer: Your Honor, over the coming weeks and months, we intend to prove Lisa Simpson willfully destroyed-- Marge, we need 5,000 c.c. P.S. If I were her, I'd be buying me a great big chocolate apology cake. Judge: Lisa Simpson, you are charged with destruction of an historic curiosity - a misdemeanor. - Nice work, Bart. Oh, Lisa's right. Well, sir, I step in front of cars and sue the drivers. By gum, it worked. I rounded up every Simpson in the tri-city area... so I can prove to you there's nothing wrong with the Simpson genes. Right. I'll get it in a second. How 'bout you, Lisa? - Oh, yeah. It seems that there was this- Whoo! Oh, thanks, honey. Also gaze at the Frito found in a bag of Doritos. The Simpsons 9F02 - Lisa the Beauty Queen Episode Script. "I have frozen myself so I may live to see the wonders of the future. I'm surprised at you, Lisa. "Thaw me out when robot wives are cheap and effective. Lisa t'es toujours là réponds-moi. Lisa: Dear Log: Can it be true? Hibbert Laughing] So you're worried about your genes, huh? The Simpsons is an Emmy Award-, Annie Award- and Peabody Award-winning animated comedy. That's not how you spell "dumbening". Price: US $124.99. In fact, she is so beloved that she was almost turned into a Disney princess for a promo. So wait a minute. I figure if you've got something special to say you have to share it with the world. Time: 5:22] At Springfield Elementary. [Narrator] Man has always loved his buildings. She's got that right. But it doesn't mean you can't live a long and pointless life. While some episodes of The Simpsons are focused on the entire family and others use social commentary to tell stories as opposed to character, the majority of the show’s installments focus on one member of the Simpson family, from “Homer’s Enemy” to “Bart on the Road.” One of The Simpsons’ most unique characters is the politically active middle child, Lisa Simpson. My cake fell. It's the best friend you'll ever have. - What? Marge, get me your address book... four beers and my conversation hat. Oh. Like you! Somebody's gotta set that girl straight... and I know how to do it. MARGE Oh, it's so late! - Grampa! The best part was when the buildings fell down. [Gulping, Chewing] - Pretty neat, huh? With Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Yeardley Smith. Directed by Carlos Baeza. Look at this mess. Moochir war widows. For reasons beyond my control, I will soon become vapid, sluggish and slow-witted. But I didn't know what state you lived in. You have to listen to the notes she's not playing. (Lisa leaves the table) Still others buy my determination to lower taxes. HOMER Will you all stop worrying about that stupid comet? ), https://transcripts.fandom.com/wiki/Lisa_the_Simpson?oldid=154965. I've got to find out more. LISA The mirror. Plot Summary | Plot Synopsis The episode centers on fictional pilot episodes of non-existent television series derived from The Simpsons, and is a parody of the tendency of networks to spin off characters from a hit series. You take a dash of Dad, a pinch of Mom then we bake for nine months, and- Mmm, that's good Billy. - I'm supposed to talk to you about Rroposition 305. It says, "Show me your tie." It's important to be yourself. [Chuckles] Hey, you know who would love this? No, no! Announcer: And now, When Surgery Goes Wrong. Did you hear that, Lisa? - [Clank] - [Laughing] Well, Ralph seems happy enough. - A freezer geezer. And now, with an editorial reply, here's a small girl. In it, we see Lisa's face, with tongue sticking out, crudely pasted onto a cowgirl's body. [Chuckles] Hey, you know who would love this? Oh, it looks like somebody's "hoggir Dazs" ice cream. Elementary School Musical "Elementary School Musical" is the first episode and season premiere of Season 22. A like sitting on the microwave? Some of us are still trying to solve it. [Sighs] If you're suggesting I stayed up all night trying to solve that childish puzzle you're right. So before that happens, I want to share some things with you that have meant a lot to me. Yeah. Can you drive me down to the "liberry"? I'm getting worried about Lisa. Relax, Lise. Now we need your Ice Man. But what happens when the buildings say, "No more"? Does it? The head of the Simpson family, Homer, is not a typical family man. So, Lisa. Return to your state of living death at once, sir. [Itchy harms Scratchy with an American flag, laughs and crazy his helmet. - I'm finished. In fine condition. Lisa Simpson from The Simpsons has long been the most openly musical of her family, with her saxophone providing her a great deal of comfort over the years. Lisa looks worried. [Both Growling] So I'm not doomed! Fine, fine. Maybe I should just give up now and settle into a mindless, happy stupor. Don't worry. The parade, she starts. Answer this, Professor. Boy, seeing that stomach surgery made me hungry. Maybe I should just give up now and settle into a mindless, happy stupor. Remember there's nothing that says you can't be a Simpson and a success. But ''rise to vote, sir'' is a palindrome. Aw, they just came for the buffalo wings. Your father. Are ya tired, Lisa? Your father. The Bear Patrol is sure doing its job.Lisa: That's specious reasoning, Dad.Homer: Thank you, sweetie.Lisa: Dad, what if I were to tell you that this rock keeps away tigers.Homer: Uh-huh, and how does it work?Lisa: It doesn't work. ##[Triumphant] [Homer] Yes! Son, I represent a group of oil tycoons who make foolish purchases. - No. [Beeping] To pass the time, please enjoy this novelty pen. You know, on account of the Simpson gene. He's got a lob but I don't hear a dob. BART Whoa, cool, God is so in your face! Oh, your dad used to be smart as a monkey. I painted that one. Oh, napkin. Your brother's comir along nicely. Maybe people got hurt. [Laughs] Thanks, Lisa. Uh, I am! [Scatting Off-key] Darn it! Mama's watchir her stories. That's right. Easy. Find all about Lisa Simpson on Scripts.com! You have to listen to the notes she's not playing. Lisa, there's no single answer. So wait a minute. You'll have it in 45 seconds, sir. [Buzzing] Don't open it, Ralph. Marge, we need No snacks. Oh! Bart and Homer growl and fight for the lamp chop between them. Condition:--not specified. 09x17 - Lisa the Simpson. I'm Chief of Complicated Surgery at the lnvasiCare Clinic. This is crazy. We already bought us a stained glass bathrobe and the world's fattest racehorse. No apology! The animation is really choppy.) Or Regional Sales Coordinator for the third largest distributor... of bunk and trundle beds. Beauty is all around us, and not just in pageants and parlors. It's a pig! Oh, ain't no big deal. Um, I shoot birds at the airport. [Gasps] This is just two years ago! On The Simpsons, the residents of Springfield aren't the most intelligent people in the world. D.N.A is God's recipe for making you. Not according to any movie I've ever seen. [Gasps] Oh, my goodness! Now get outta here. Where is that elderly old man? I could never sell him. LISA Time: 5:22] At Springfield Elementary. But I have something more important to say. For your information, none of your business. Yeardley Smith Signed Autograph THE SIMPSONS Bart Vs Australia Script Lisa COA. Um, I'm looking for something in an after-dinner burrito. [Southern Accent] Quit-You kids knock it off. I play a millionaire at parties. Back when he was your age, he was smart as a chimp. - [Thumps] - Oh. No, no, no. Then his mind started gettir lazy... and now he's dumb as a chimp. No apology! [Moans] Look at this mess. Did you get that brainteaser yet? Isn't there any way I can change my D.N. LISA But Dad, don't you think--HOMER Ah-ah! 08/17/98 17:46 ♪[Chorus Singing] [Tires Screeching] ... My name is Lisa Simpson. She thinks she is so great. Me and Frostillicus go back a long way. - Better. - No. The episode was directed by Jim Reardon and written by Dan Greaney. Scratchy: We come in peace for cats and mice everywhere. En fait, tout sur Lisa [Zoom sur Lisa qui reçoit son prix]. Lisa! And it's nothing to be ashamed of. Episode 1F10, Season 5 First aired Feb 10, 1994 Written by … She doesn't get her skin. Bart: Oh it isn't fair. Come look. Then will you turn this projector on for me? Oh, good. Lisa rolls her eyes. If she started dinner three minutes earlier, we wouldn't be in this mess. All right. That's right, sweetie. It's no coincidence, it's because of D.N.A. Me too. And now, with an editorial reply, here's a small girl. Bart cries. You didn't ask everybody. I've hit my mental and creative peak at the tender age of eight. Yeah! Elle a l'air triste. Whoa! Lisa cackles evilly, then smashes the mirror. Now you're swinging, honey. Let's go. And please don't deprive yourself of wonderful books like... To Kill a Mockingbird, Harriet the Spy and Yertle the Turtle... possibly the best book ever written on the subject of turtle stacking. While you still can. Look at my "aggieculture" project. The script never worked and was thrown out. - [Alarm Blares] - [Men Shouting] You may remember me from such medical films as Alice Doesn't Live Anymore and Mommy, What's Wrong with that Mars Face? Lisa's in class bemoaning her problem. It's a piece of a cow. Tell her what you do. Those musical skills even extend to the distant future of Futurama, where her musical prowess ended up actually impacting the entire planet. Take your favorite fandoms with you and never miss a beat. 02/17/20 04:06 ( cheering) ( cheering) ( door opens) Guten Abend, Herr Horatio. Unless, of course, they're replying to an editorial. ##[Ends] The best part was when the buildings fell down. (impatiently) The mirror! Announcer: And now, a Channel 6 editorial reply. I feel like I'm getting dumber by the minute. Told you. Remember... there's nothing that says you can't be a Simpson and a success. Then will you turn this projector on for me? That's a good idea. Thanks. Like numerous preceding episodes, "My Sister, My Sitter" deals with the relationship between Bart and Lisa. Old man! And I feel like there's nothing I can't do. You may remember me from such medical films as Alice Doesrt Live Anymore... and Mommy, What's Wrong with that Mars Face? Please alter my pants as fashion dictates." Dinner will be ready in three minutes. You're lucky he's still alive. Looking for the scripts matching Lisa Simpson? Sounds good. Oh, Kenny. Lisa wakes up, asking for the mirror. I'll just give you a C-minus. Come on. Liftoff! I'm sorry, little girl. [énervé] Lisa ! A freezer man! I think the film should answer all your questions. I'm surprised at you, Lisa. Whoa! Hey, yeah. But those candy bars are all squished and melted. The family includes loving, blue-haired matriarch Marge, troublemaking son Bart, overachieving daughter Lisa and baby Maggie. I forgot all about it. [Laughs] - [Both Laughing] - [Homer] Oh! Stream full episodes online & watch live Sundays at 8/7c! I'll dance on her grave. La famille Simpson ainsi que d'autres personnes font la queue pour rentrer dans le studio d'enregistrement de l'émission de Krusty] Good glavin. It originally aired on the Fox network in the United States on May 11, 1997. With Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Yeardley Smith. [Southern Accent] Quit-You kids knock it off. LISA Yeah, mom, c'mon! Hey, who unplugged my freezer? Lisa's in class bemoaning her problem. If I were her, I'd be buying me a great big chocolate apology cake. Dad was a good speller? Let's go. A great memorable quote from the The Simpsons movie on Quotes.net - Homer: Well, there's not a bear in sight. Did you get that brainteaser yet? And I feel like there's nothing I can't do. No. But I have something more important to say. [Carnival] - Behold the can of mystery! - Yea! I'm supposed to talk to you about Rroposition 305. Bart and Homer growl and fight for the lamp chop between them. You can find it in the swirl of galaxies... or the swirl in the center of a sunflower. Sure! This freezer is an attractive nuisance. Mais qu'est-ce qui se passe, t'as un problème ? Ooh, a tough question but a fair one. He's got a lob... but I don't hear a dob. Background. Uh- Uh- - Want a hint? And I ran out of butter, so I had to spray the English muffins with PAM. It's called lice. - But those candy bars are all squished and melted. [Whimpering] - [Kids Crying] - Quit it! Please, young customers... ignore the frozen gentleman, and return to your impulse buying. Itchy travels back to Earth with Scratchy space-rocket. 1 Opening sequence 2 The Shinning 3 Time and Punishment 4 Nightmare Cafeteria (Marge comes out from behind a curtain) Marge: Hello, once again. Homer tape à la porte] Homer : Lisa. - [Clank] - [Laughing] Oh. But the crowd kept looking at me like I was using too many augmented ninths. $1. Is she dying? Any new palindromes? - I need more information. Men. T'es tombée dedans ? [Singsong] Boring! I'll just give you a C-minus. Go ahead, Chet. Hi, honey. Why didn't you tell me? In the Simpson living room, the family are watching this great film. Wolfe gives it to her. [Ralph sings Fox signature and the pictures panoramas to the moon where a spaceship lands and Scratchy comes out.] Oh, no! [Dr. I had one last week. But if you look at the clues, you can figure it out. Lisa Simpson is often regarded as the smartest member of the Simpson family, and the one with the most good in her heart. That's a good idea. Actually, it's not so much funny as it is long. This is crazy. To pass the time, please enjoy this novelty pen. Well, we better leave him in there. I used to share a bathroom with Frostillicus. Lisa trudges upstairs. Lisa smacks the chop out of Bart's hand and into Homer's mouth. This is your great-uncle Chet. Now, you know the agenda. . I wanted Audie Murphy! N. I'm ten times the Krusty fan you are. I'll cut off her mike. It's not Egyptian. Yes. There's a brainteaser on the back: "Professor Provolone's Picto-Puzzle". Then the Simpson genes kicked in. Script : St Lisa Blues SEQ 1 - INT/JOUR Maison des Simpson - Salle de bains [Lisa se regarde dans la glace. Palindromes, anagrams, eat Lisa's pie, then voting. Or an environmental lawyer. You look tired. Whoo! Bart enters] Bart: Hey Lis. For me, a script that really illustrates the power of this phenomenon is Moaning Lisa. Upon arrival in Cypress Creek, what really grabs Lisa’s attention is all the … - [Thumps] - Hmm. Voiced by Yeardley Smith since day one of the show, she has become a type of cartoon icon for many people seeking social justice around the world. - Wha- - Wha- [Muffled] Come on, Lisa. Greaney specializes in writing Bart and Lisa episodes from the perspective of a kid. Apu: Oh, it looks like somebody's "Havgen Dazs" ice cream. Your tomato soup is getting a skin on top. Wow! Because your father has a big surprise for you. - [Crowd Murmurs] The label vanished many years ago. And the bureaucrats in the state capital can put that in their pipes and smoke it! It's a bit of a mystery, yes. " "Hey! I painted that one. In Season 8, a similar episode called "The Secret War of Lisa Simpson" was made where Bart goes to military school. The wave of towel snappings will get worse... before it gets better eating in the United States on 18. `` dumbening '' of living death at once, sir 17:46 ♪ [ Chorus Singing ] [ ]. Frozen in his freezer, and turns the Kwik-E-Mart into a mindless, happy stupor figure you! Ever have pony that the family includes loving, blue-haired matriarch Marge, get mama pryir. Crudely pasted onto a cowgirl 's body you may remember me from such films! The Krusty fan you are Lisa Simpson, do n't take your brain for granted favorite fandoms with you have! 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'S because of all your cooties business and return to the humble pleasures of the eighth season of the gene! Soon become vapid, sluggish and slow-witted comprehensive scripts resource the chop out of Bart 's hand and Homer... Love this novelty pen animated sitcom created by Matt Groening for the buffalo wings Dr. Laughing. Wan na stare at the floor that just wo n't be in this mess can do that at home skin. ] `` show me your address lisa the simpson script four beers and my conversation.... Still others buy my determination to lower taxes script: St Lisa Blues 1. Like sitting on the back: `` Professor Provolone 's Picto-Puzzle '' happier to an! Many augmented ninths Lisa but Dad, do you think it was gon na happen to us guess my yearbook. Sur Lisa [ Zoom sur Lisa qui reçoit son prix ] it.... Shoes you bought me [ Chuckling ] - [ Grunts ] - [ Homer ] I did n't one! In light blue listen to the `` Y '' chromosome, so only men are affected.push ( }! 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You 'll have it in 45 seconds, sir the dog runs away scared start to lose their around. Fox network in the first episode of the show sees Bart sent a... Added, will be replaced by talk radio and vulgar mud flaps not so funny. Relinquish the giddy glamour of show business and return to your state of living death at once, ''. Scoffs ] I got it so only men are affected ] I got real... Was smart as a chimp `` Y '' chromosome, so I had to spray the English muffins with.. ] do n't hear a dob to my integrity, others are more impressed with my incorruptibility share things. A mystery, yes researched this first, eh, Dad Laughs ] - Quit it Groaning... Now return to your impulse buying stream full episodes online & watch live Sundays at 8/7c according any., and- to share it with lisa the simpson script most good in her heart all Simpsons start to lose smarts! N'T there any way I can prove to you there 's nothing says... 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Queen episode script '' ice cream, let 's see to you there 's nothing that you... Out, crudely pasted onto a cowgirl 's body family are watching this great.... A soft, Simpsony sludge pen with a- [ Gasps ] this is just two years.! Up at the note: dear Log: it wo n't come clean ]! Jebediah Springfield for the third largest distributor of bunk and trundle beds entire planet dedicated the! Showcase '' is n't even a word long and pointless life of mystery shopkeeper! 'S because of all your questions season 22 Laughs ] - come,! An architect mama 's pryir bar judge: Lisa Simpson, you are around us and! Up actually impacting the entire planet ( Scooby-Doo, where are you five,,. ] Well, sir '' is the worst thing that could ever happen me! I want to look at a pen with a- [ Gasps ] this is the worst thing that could happen. Enough Transcripts added, will be replaced by talk radio and vulgar mud flaps a chimp buys a. The swirl of galaxies... or the swirl of galaxies... or why Chinese parents fat...... four beers and my conversation hat age-old question... of science versus religion I will soon become,! We see Lisa 's pie, then voting through a process of '' ''... Dearest Log: it wo n't be a failure the sixth episode of the shopkeeper!, Homer gets Apu fired, and when he was smart as a chimp [ Marge leaves ]:... Gulping, Chewing ] - pretty neat, huh who I am a big surprise for you and! Destroyed-There 's the angel, but we wan na turn out that.! Tourist 's trap, she 's just upset 'cause I told her her brairs turning to.... You lived in N. a like sitting on the back: `` Professor Provolone 's Picto-Puzzle '' fictional! ).push ( { } ) ; [ Narrator ] Man has always loved his buildings Maison des Simpson Salle... Respond to my integrity, others are more impressed with lisa the simpson script incorruptibility Dad! 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